Arriving in a new city and not knowing anyone can be intimidating. However, it’s perfectly natural to want to reach out and build a social circle. Humans have sought connection since the dawn of time, and as an expatriate myself, I can relate. I’ve been living in Hong Kong since November 2023 and didn’t know a single person before my arrival.

In this article, I’d like to share my experiences and tips for meeting people and making friends as naturally as possible—though it may require a little effort at first.

Where to Meet New People

Colleagues

One of the easiest ways to make friends is through your colleagues. Especially in your first days and weeks, they are the people you will spend the most time with. It’s beneficial to foster a comfortable work environment, as you likely spend a significant portion of your week there. Simply chatting with them about how long they’ve been at the company or asking for recommendations can go a long way.

When I arrived in Hong Kong, I only knew my boss. I started discussing with my colleagues in the office, getting to know them, and occasionally going out for drinks. Today, some of them are my travel buddies across Asia.

Neighbors

Your neighbors are another great resource. Building a good relationship with them can be incredibly useful, especially when you need someone to keep an eye on your home while you’re away. A housewarming party is a classic way to greet your neighbors and start forming connections.

Friends of Friends

Even if you’re new to the city, you might already know some people living there. If so, hang out with them and encourage them to bring their friends along. It’s an easy way to meet new people; once you have a couple of friends, you’ll have access to a broader social circle. This is how I expanded my social circle in Hong Kong. After meeting two guys at a casual networking event, they invited me to a restaurant with their group the following week, which later became my main circle of friends.

Hobbies & Clubs

Joining a club related to your passions or hobbies is a great way to meet people with similar interests. You won’t need to worry about what to talk about; just enjoy your time and discuss your shared passion. Later, you can suggest doing another activity outside of the club, like grabbing a drink or going hiking. Here are some activities to consider:

• Art: Whether you enjoy drawing, painting, or music, joining an art club can be a fun way to meet new people while relieving stress and boosting creativity.
• Games: If you like board games or video games, consider attending local conventions or joining a club. Board games are a relaxed way to bond with new acquaintances.
• Language Exchange: Learning a new language immerses you in a new culture. In big cities, language exchange events are common and provide a great opportunity to connect with locals.
• Sports: Whether you’re a seasoned athlete or just starting, joining a sports club can help you meet fellow enthusiasts. Consider trying something new that is popular in your new city.
• Hiking: In Hong Kong, hiking is a popular activity with numerous trails. It’s easy to find hiking groups through apps. If you’re not experienced, just make sure the hike’s difficulty matches your skill level so you can focus on socializing rather than struggling.
• Gym: Going to the gym regularly can lead to meeting the same people. Having gym buddies is not only motivating but can also help build friendships.
• Climbing: Climbing, whether indoors or outdoors, is another excellent way to meet new people. Join a class or climb solo and interact with other climbers.
• Water Sports: If your area allows, try water sports like surfing or kayaking. These activities create a natural environment for engagement while doing something you love.
• Spirituality: If you’re religious, joining a community can be a great way to meet different people and gain local recommendations while finding peace in shared beliefs.

Mobile Apps

Many activities can help you meet new people, but how do you find them? Thankfully, several mobile apps can assist you:

• Meetup: This is a fantastic app for finding social events and casual gatherings. You can discover language exchanges, board game parties, networking events, hiking groups, and cooking lessons. Just create an account and register for events that interest you.
• Bumble & Other Dating Apps: While primarily for dating, apps like Bumble have a BFF section for making friends. Just remember to be cautious about trusting profiles.

Communities & Social Events

In a foreign city, there are often gatherings dedicated to expatriates, which locals can also join:

• Internations: This website and community hosts regular events, usually in bars on weekends. You can register beforehand or just walk in to mingle with others.
• Business Events: If you work in a specific field, consider attending related events. These gatherings often provide casual discussions with people who share similar interests.
• Expat Clubs: If you’re an expatriate, look for clubs specific to your home country. They can be a great resource for tips on living in your new city.

Walk Around

Lastly, don’t underestimate the power of simply walking around the city. If you have a dog, even better! People are often eager to chat when they can interact with your pet. If you’re more extroverted, engage with people you encounter, and you might make wonderful connections.

How to Connect with Others

You probably already know how to make friends. You’ve done it many times throughout your life—each year at school when changing jobs, or joining a sports club in your hometown. It’s just that this process has usually felt natural and based on your daily life, so you may not have been fully aware of it. If that’s not the case for you, the following tips will help you overcome any obstacles.

Be Proactive

When it comes to approaching someone—whether for a casual friendship or a deeper relationship—it’s essential to be proactive. This is the one thing you can control: making the first move. You can’t decide how people will react to you, but if you don’t allow yourself to interact with strangers, most of the time they won’t approach you either. Be confident, be natural, and greet them. It’s easier to do this when you’re sharing common activities or interests.

Don’t Be Embarrassed

In the beginning, it might feel a little awkward, especially if you’re not used to it. Don’t worry—this is perfectly normal! As the saying goes, “Fake it until you make it.” Just keep practicing, improve your communication skills, and put yourself in comfortable situations to help you feel relaxed and in a good mood.

Learn How to Say YES

If you’ve been the one to always decline when a colleague suggests having a drink after work, it might be time to change that. Learn to say yes a bit more often. While you might feel out of your comfort zone at first, start with smaller commitments. Instead of agreeing to an eight-hour hike, perhaps begin with a simple drink at a bar or a coffee in the afternoon—even at work!

Know When to Say NO

Having boundaries is also essential. Don’t hesitate to say no if you genuinely don’t want to participate in a specific activity. There’s nothing wrong with that; if you know you won’t enjoy it, it’s better for everyone involved. Accept invitations only when you know you can be in a good mood.

Don’t Try to Please Everyone

It’s important to remember that you can’t be friends with everyone, and that’s completely normal. You don’t have to try to please everyone. Remember, you attract what you are, so aim to be as natural as possible in your interactions. This way, people will appreciate you for who you truly are.

Open Yourself to Discover New Things

Especially when moving abroad, it’s crucial to be willing to explore and discover new experiences. Be open-minded and allow others to introduce you to new places, activities, restaurants, and more.

Schedule Times for Socializing

Consider scheduling some time in your agenda for socializing. It could be a designated weekend day or a Friday night every couple of weeks. By planning this time, you can prepare yourself and avoid feeling overwhelmed by spontaneous events. If you have a busy lifestyle, this practice ensures that you also save time for your friends when they suggest outings. If nothing comes up, you can always use that time for yourself without feeling guilty.

Set Goals

For those who might struggle with engaging others, setting social goals can be incredibly beneficial. For example, aim to accept a coffee invitation from your colleagues for an entire week or challenge yourself to speak with five strangers in the street. Suggest one activity each month within your friend group. Establishing these types of goals can push you out of your comfort zone while keeping you motivated. As a bonus, this approach can be applied to almost every aspect of your life!

While being new in a city can feel daunting, remember you’re rarely alone in this experience. Open yourself to others, and connections will form naturally.

My Own Experience as an Expat in Hong Kong

To conclude, I’ll share my experience of moving to Hong Kong. When I arrived in November 2023, the only person I knew was my boss, whom I had previously worked with on some projects. I set simple goals for myself: to make friends outside of work and meet locals (or at least people who weren’t French, as I had enough French colleagues already).

Three weeks after arriving, I joined a Meetup event. Initially labeled as a “networking” event, it turned out to be quite casual at a club. I chatted with five or six people that night. Among them, I hit it off with two, who invited me to a restaurant with their friends a week later. Since then, they have become my main friends in Hong Kong. I didn’t need more friends to feel comfortable, so I stopped attending events after that. But it shows how quickly you can meet great people!

If you’re interested in this topic, I invite you to read my article on the importance of choosing your five closest friends as a man.